I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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