Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
