I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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