Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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