Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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