Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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