I must be too annoying 4 u.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
