Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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