when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
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