omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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