My hand turned me down
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
