She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
