his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
