I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
