You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
