im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
