in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
