i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
