he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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