Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize