I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
operation have a gay friend backfired
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
