well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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