So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
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Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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