O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
