If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
ugly people sure do ruin things
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
