is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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