Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
