guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
