You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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