oh god the rape fog is back!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
