Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
