He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
