Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
