I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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