its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize