ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
