Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
false alarm, still single
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
