Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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