If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Im part way to drunk.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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