How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
