I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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