so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
