Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize