i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I AM VODKA MAN
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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