What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
