Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
