So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We don't watch enough power rangers
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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