okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
