The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
