He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
