you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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