and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
