I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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