mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
