The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
