is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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