can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize