ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
