Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
