Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
