i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.