I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!