I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?