im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
