Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.