I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"