You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??