Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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