i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
