There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
