we made out on top of his cat.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Randomize
